Funny Wise Sayings

Here are Funny Wise Sayings, Wise Words of Wisdom and Funny Old Sayings of the wise that you can share with friends.

 Best Funny Wise Sayings

It is good to make merriment. When you laugh, it comes with it effortlessly. It is something that would always bring joy and happiness to the heart. We all know how it is when we keep a happy lifestyle.

To make you smile and keep smiling, we have gotten for you here funny wise sayings that will make you laugh out loud.

These words that would make you laugh are proverbs of funny wise sayings of our Elders who have seen it all in life. These proverbs indeed teach life many lessons which would be a guide towards us achieving our goals.

Funny Wise Sayings

Indeed proverbs are ways of life that teach many lessons of reformation.  When you are in a gathering with friends, it is of essence that your words should be guided with wise saying of the elders. Here are more collections of wise proverbs you can share with your friends where you too can learn from them.

[1]. The day a mosquito perches on your testicle is the day you realize that not all disputes are settled by violence.

[2]. When you marry a person with Television instead of a person with vision, you will end up watching the person with vision in your television all your life.

[3]. The road of I don't care will lead you to the city of had I know.

[4]. A car cannot move without gas or fuel, a man is incomplete without a woman, salt is useless without its taste, bird cannot fly without their wings, plane cannot fly without a pilot, guns cannot shoot without a bullet, a baby cannot grow without food and you cannot do anything without God.

[5]. A man that hangs around a beautiful lady without saying a word ends up fetching water for guests on her wedding day.

[6]. When an astrologer decided to study the sky while walking around the earth he definitely fall into a ditch.

[7]. Weddings are for the crowd, while marriage is for the couple. Please do not excite the crowd and suffer in marriage.

[8]. Anyone who withdraws money from the ATM and goes ahead to recount the money has trust issues.

[9]. When a girl has beauty and has no fear of God and brain, her private part suffers the most.

[10]. A fool's brain has two sides left and right, on the left side there is nothing right, and on the right side there is nothing left.

[11]. No matter how long it may be, a stammerer must surely pronounce his father’s name.

[12]. Humans love bird and invented a cage for a bird but God love bird and invented a tree for a bird.

[13]. The weakness of God is stronger than men and the foolishness of God is wiser than men.

[14]. The Agama lizard says that the reason why he normally takes to his heels whenever he sees a group of people around is the fact that what people have learnt to eat with palm oil, salt and pepper these days is numerous.

[15]. The most disastrous thing in life is for you to know the truth and ignore it for selfish interest! You know what? It will hunt you for the rest of your life.

[16]. When you see a lion laughing with a goat my brother, be careful because some people may appear pleasant but destructive.

[17]. It is better for me to eat a dry crust of loaf with peace of mind than to have a banquet in a home full of trouble.

[18]. He who washes his hands clean; eats with elders. And the friend of a king is a king by extension. Keep your tongue and save your life. God's grace is the greatest ability in all our disabilities.

[19]. Don't make friends with people who have hot and violent tempers. You might learn their habits and not be able to change.

[20]. Young girls are like unripe mangoes while some men are waiting for them to get matured others are eating them with salts.

[21]. When you do good to people do not expect them to pay you back, human beings cannot pay you for the good you have done to them but God, look upon God, He rewards all your good doing.

[22]. When you hear a blind man boasting that he would break another person's head with a stone, know that he is already having one in his pocket or he is placing his foot on one.

[23]. Mr. Crab said he knows the journey he wants to embark on will be good for him if rain starts beating him from the front of his house.

[24]. They said great things don’t come easy but hardwork. We only send congratulations but we don't know how they got there.

[25]. Some things others regard as mistakes are best known by the person that committed it. That was why a man wearing a wedding ring on the wrong finger when asked, he said because he married a wrong woman.

[26]. Be wise enough not to wear yourself out trying to get rich. Your money can be gone in a flash, as if it had grown wings and flown away like an eagle.

[27]. You don't need to tell a blind man that rain is falling because it's his eyes that's blind and not his ears.

[28]. The choice you didn't make will be made for. Tea/coffee and you tell anyone they will give you their choice. So, please be decisive.

[29]. It is very correct when you say he who pays the piper dictates the tone.

[30]. Knowledge from the wise is full of wisdom.

Wise Words of Wisdom

Sincerely speaking, sharing words of wise saying is one of the things that would make you understand that life should not be seen as a do or die affair. These inspiring proverbs about life are words of wisdom you would love to share with friends around you.

[31]. If the only tool a man has is the hammer, he tends to treat every issue as a nail.

[32]. He who has two watches does not know what exactly says the time.

[33]. He who has gold and sold it to buy bronze because it looks alike and cheaper, in the process of time when he tries getting his gold back by selling the bronze, he will never get the price of gold back, insisted on values.

[34]. Is good to be good; but no matter how much good you do to a bicycle rider he must shame/show you with his button before leaving your present.

[35]. When God is in charge, the devil is discharged. So in all your running get God involved.

[36]. No matter how far a bird can fly it will still come down to drink water.

[37]. Be more careful about those who are closer to you because it is them that will bring your enemies home.

[38]. The flat chest of a girl has a plan.

[39]. The finger is guilty of stains when the hand is used in eating yam with palm oil.

[40]. If the angels in Heaven don't know when Jesus is coming back, why do you try to know your husband's heart?

[41]. A rich man that is known for his magnanimity is only building strong hands that may lift him up in case he falls tomorrow.

[42]. Haters are like an acid, it damages the vessel in which it is stored and destroys the vessel on which it is poured. Always forgive.

[43]. It takes a comfortable foolish man to be poor because he lacks managerial skills, but the wise man would always ride on the horse of prosperity because he knows what to do with wisdoms.

[44]. All lizards are lying prostrate, until the sick one is forced to lie upside-down you will never get to know which of them has a troubled stomach.

[45]. Life is in phases and men are in sizes.

[46]. A life without vision is equal to frustration.

[47]. When you see the chief masquerade in the afternoon, he is been invited by the chief priest or the King.

[48]. A good advice is a second mother for a child.

[49]. What an elder sees sitting, a youngster cannot see it even if he climbs an Iroko tree.

[50]. No matter how tall and strong an Iroko tree might be, it must definitely dance to the tune of the wind.

[51]. When a sheep walked into a lion den, it's only the lion that would tell the story.

[52]. A crab once said when a play goes to the stage where it requires folding its hands backward he will begs to leave.

[53]. The Bible says that we should try to be at peace with all men, but never mean to please others and displease yourself because you can never please all men.

[54]. When a man marries a bad woman as a wife he is very close to his early grave.

[55]. One man's food remains another man's poison. The one who refused to eat it is not an idiot.

[56]. When you see a child talking to an elder hitting hand on his chest, two things, if that child does not have money, then he's a wizard.

[57]. Run all you can when a fowl starts pursuing you early in the morning because you don't know if it has developed teeth over the night.

[58]. When the bush is on fire, the chameleon easily learns to run fast.

[59]. It never rains but it pours because after the rain comes the shine.

[60]. But he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.

Funny Old Sayings

Amazingly when something is funny, it makes us laugh. These funny and hilarious old sayings would make you laugh hard. If you are thinking of relieving some stress, here are some collections of famous and hilarious proverbs for your comfort.

[61]. The protection of a young chick is from the wings of the mother hen.

[62]. Lead from the back so that others will believe that they are in front.

[63]. Truth has only one colour, it never changes.

[64]. Tears and water might look alike but they do not taste the same.

[65]. Not until a frog jumps into hot water, it will not know that there are different types of water.

[66]. To give a monkey cup is not the problem but to collect the cup from the monkey is where the problem is.

[67]. Do not be hasty in your spirit to be angry; for anger rests in the bosom of fools.

[68]. The road that leads to success is always under construction.

[69]. A bird that flies so high, fall from the sky.

[70]. A child who is bold enough to go to the farm on Eke day, must be bold enough to face the consequence.

[71]. It is only a thief that recognizes the footprints of another thief on a rocky plane.

[72]. Shame does not follow man and woman to enter the room.

[73]. You don't tell an Elder he's lying. You show him he's lying.

[74]. A pound in an entrepreneur's hand is worth more than a million in a lazy man’s pocket.

[75]. When a fowl suddenly begins to visit a guinea fowl she guards her eggs with jealousy.

[76]. A river does not flow through the forest without bringing down the trees.

[77]. Do not go out only to marry a pretty lady because you may not be the only one who sleep with her, her beauty is something that makes her private part suffered a lot.

[78]. No matter how hot the sun heats up the earth, the hen can never lay a cooked egg.

[79]. A toad does not run in the afternoon for nothing.

[80]. In life one has to know that short cuts are always a wrong way.

[81]. You don't use a mirror to look at what you wearing in your hand.

[82]. If you can endure the wife of 16 years in the home with a bad attitude then nothing is strange again.

[83]. It is very difficult to explain the dry bone of an old woman in a proverb.

[84]. A rat with many children always sleeps with her door open.

[85]. No matter how long it takes a stammerer, he must surely pronounce his father's name.

[86]. The sky is too big to accommodate both the pigeons and eagles.

[87]. A child that knows how to die must also know how to cover his eye.

[88]. The wise words of the elders are sure balm to a bleeding soul.

[89]. When an Hyena flirts with the hen, the hen is happy not knowing that its death is near.

[90]. When an animal starts with a bad run, the hunter has no option than to give him a bad bullet.

[91]. Harvest is no blessing if death is the crop.

[92]. A child who refuses to take instruction will end up in destruction.

[93]. Do not conclude that you are made financially, until you get married.

[94]. The cockroach cannot be innocent in the gathering of fools.

[95]. It is better to try and fail than not to try at all.

[96]. The firewood of this world is made for only those that can carry it; that's why not all can gather it.

[97]. No loss in life is as dangerous as lost of hope.

[98]. A man can quote the whole Bible for you but his life stinks like that of a dead rat.

[99]. If I knew that my snail would crawl I would have covered it.

[100]. Use your tongue to count your teeth, not with your finger.

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Nsikak Andrew: Funny Wise Sayings
Funny Wise Sayings
Here are Funny Wise Sayings, Wise Words of Wisdom and Funny Old Sayings of the wise that you can share with friends.
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